Tuesday, June 7, 2011

PYHO: 15 before 30

Time for some truth, people.
1. I have always been known, in my family, as the one (out of three children) who struggles the most with her weight.
2. I have always been known, in my family, as the "good eater," the "sugar addict," and so on.
3. I had a baby 10 months ago. When I got pregnant, I weighed 144 pounds. (I'm 5'3"). I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, which turned out to be a blessing, because I only gained 19 pounds by following the mandatory diet.
4. I now weigh 143.5 pounds, and although I know it's *great* (barf) that I'm back to my pre-preggo weight, I am very, very, self-concious about my body.
5. Every time I look in the mirror, I notice my double chin, how my belly sticks out as if I'm still 3 months pregnant, how my arms flap in the wind, how much junk seems to be in my trunk.
6. Every time I eat with others- my family and my friends, I wonder if they are judging me for what I eat and how much I eat, because I am unhappy with the way I look.
7. I really used to like going to the gym after work, beating out stress on the treadmill or elliptical.
8. I am really, really, struggling with finding the time and motivation to exercise.
9. I really, really, want to lose (at least) 15 pounds. I want to feel good in my body, to be proud, physically strong, and confident in my body.
10. My mind is so full of negative self-talk, that I really truly doubt that I can physically accomplish what my mind and heart want to accomplish-strength, muscle, leanness, health.

I turn 30 on October 6th. When that day comes, I know I can look at my life and feel so blessed- I have had an incredible adventure as a teacher (which I hope to continue after our child(ren) get older, I have an amazing, faithful, perfect-for-me husband, a sweet, precious little boy and more loving family and friends than a girl could ask for. But on that day, I also want to reflect on my self, and feel proud. Part of that pride is going to come from losing these 15 pounds, by becoming strong and healthier. I'm praying by putting this into writing, it will help my resolve.
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I will do this.


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  2. I wish you health and confidence. Battling with the extra pounds may be hard, but with your determination, I know that you will beat it.


  3. Good on you! You do sound motivated to me though....
    Good luck xx

  4. I hope you accomplish your goal! It takes time. I started running on an elliptical a few months ago. It took at least 6 weeks of sweating to see anything! Stopping by from PYHO. For some reason, I can't leave my comment without trouble siging in, so you can find me at www.storiesfromtheshoebox.com. :)

  5. You CAN do this! And we'll all be here to support you!

  6. I think you have a very realistic goal and I believe you can make it happen but try not to focus too much on the number of pounds. Think more about how you feel about yourself. If you feel like a hot mama it doesn't matter if you lost 15 or 12 or more! Good Luck!

  7. You can do it!!
    I agree with Nicolette, Just focus on feeling good about yourself and the rest will fall into place.
    Good luck!

  8. I so hear you!! I just turned 40 a couple of weeks ago. I've had 3 babies (via 3 C Sections because they were all over 9.5 lbs -- also had gestational diabetes), and the other day someone said "Oh, so you's are expecting #4!?" Um, no. And I felt bad for HER...because I know she was embarrassed...but I look 5 months pregnant. I separated my tummy muscles on the last one - with little time, or money - a gym membership seemed out of the question.
    But at 40 - I say myself and suddenly I said, find the money, give me the time - I don't want to look like this anymore. I'm 40! If I get any further behind....You may end up looking after the children because my health will be too poor. I had the membership in 3 days!
    Okay, so I did also mention something about having a healthier body might lead to um, healthier appetites...if you know what I mean ;)

  9. Good luck on your journey!!! I'm 34 and in the same boat. I hope that you can find your peace and lose those 15 lbs!!! Stopped by from PYHO.

  10. I know how you feel. I've always struggled with my weight. I STILL struggle.
    Good luck with your 15 before 30. I'm cheering for you!

    *Stopping by from PYHO*

  11. It makes me so sad that you're struggling with this. I am roughly the same height and close to the same weight, but I feel great, because I used to weigh 253 lbs!
    But if you don't feel good about yourself, that's what matters, and I wish you luck in gaining that confidence you need!