16/17 week doctor's appointment tomorrow!

DH and I will have my 16/17 week doctor's appointment tomorrow. I call it that because the docs call it my 16 week, although I tend to measure about a week farther along than what the appointment is called. I am always incredibly nervous about appointments-we can use any prayers that you can spare. Until I hear baby's heartbeat loud and clear, it's very hard for me to relax. Tomorrow they'll only be using the Doppler, and not doing an ultrasound. If any of you moms to be or moms are out there, I think you know what I mean about being scared and nervous. Please say a prayer that baby is healthy and well! Thanks!

DH's Comment of the Week

Throughout my pregnancy, my dear husband has been amazing. He dotes on me, encourages me to rest, has gone to every doctor's appointment, has picked up the slack from my lack of energy and kept the laundry and dishwasher going, etc. He is so excited about Baby, and is genuinely awestruck every time we see Baby on an ultrasound, or by my belly growth. He is absolutely terrified of saying the wrong thing about said belly, because I have been a weepy mess for a while now, at the slightest remarks. So, he generally refrains from commenting on how I look at all, except for this morning. After I showered, DH came into the bathroom as I was getting dressed. He took one look at me (from behind) and said, "Is it possible that as your front gets bigger, your butt gets smaller?" It was so funny, and I know he was trying to give me a compliment in his own way about how my behind is looking smaller (yeah, right!) but the look on his face as soon as the words escaped his lips was priceless! All I could do was laugh. Poor, sweet DH. How I love him!

So, how do I look?

12 week belly picture (red shirt), and 16 week belly picture (green shirt). Lately I've been driving myself crazy, wondering if my belly is still growing, is it growing enough, is everything going okay in there? I know it's just because it's been about 4 weeks since my last appointment and I'm anxious for Monday's appointment, so I'm trying to relax. I have to say, I absolutely love having a pregnant belly, and I can't wait for it to get rounder and bigger! I absolutely want to look pregnant! :)

So far....

Once I got pregnant, I was very hesitant to tell ANYONE. DH, of course, in his wonderful, excited way, wanted to shout it from the top of the Chrysler Building. (I almost wonder if this excitement is in part because he was proud of himself, but who knows. ;) ) But slowly, as the weeks go by, as we've had more ultrasounds with strong heartbeats, we've told more and more people. Now, my students have all figured it out (it took my sixth graders longer than I expected to notice my bump!), my coworkers know, it's out there on Facebook, and my extended family and in-laws know. It feels so nice to have people excited for us and praying for us. That was step number one. As the weeks progress, we're starting to think about the bigger questions, mainly, where are we gonna put this bambino or bambina? We've worked out a plan to rearrange DH's office from the second downstairs bedroom to an upstairs room, and he's working on that little by little. I'm in no rush at this point, because I know we have plenty of time. But each week there seems to be a new topic to discuss or a new plan to make. Generous friends are offering to throw a shower, when would I like to have it? We'll (hopefully, if baby is feeling uninhibited!) find out the sex at the end of March, so when will I register for baby stuff? What in the world kind of baby stuff do I actually need from the plethora of 'stuff' that gleams from the fluorescent-light soaked, albeit somewhat breathtaking halls of Babies 'R' Us?? That place is like walking into an alternate universe, a universe in which each product is irresistible. EVERYTHING is precious. EVERYTHING seems useful. (at this point.) Thank GOD I have a knowledgeable sister who has two babies of her own and is willing and unbelievably able to help me with those decisions. These are just the logistical things. I haven't even touched on the emotional things- what in the world kind of mother am I going to be? How will DH handle everything? I wonder how we'll change or grow as a couple once baby arrives? Like I said before, somedays, I get by simply minute by minute, or hour by hour, because it is so easy to be overwhelmed. Thankfully, most of the overwhelming stuff is wonderful, joyful and exciting.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!

Hello, friends! I am trying to get back into the swing of blog things these days- after lots of pushing, I mean, encouragement from my blogger sister, and after I realized that blogging does actually help with my stress level. Currently I'm 16 weeks and two days pregnant (woohoo!!). Each of my appointments to this point have gone very well, thank the good Lord. My next appointment is next week, and as it's been almost 4 weeks since my last appointment, I find my anxiety growing. I just want to hear baby's beautiful heartbeat again! I am trying to stay positive, to surrender the worries, and to remind myself that everything is in God's hands. But, wow. This whole experience has been a lesson in surrender! There are some days when it is minute to minute, because I have a tendency to worry and let my imagination run wild with all of the negative possibilities. Thankfully, I have many wise, wonderful and positive friends and family members who encourage me to simply be grateful and enjoy my pregnancy. They are absolutely 100% right! I am so blessed, and here I am wasting precious time and energy in fear?? What's up with that? So, I'm going to try and be back on the blog circuit, figure out how to "follow" other blogs and basically everything else that goes on with this whole blog world.

The most beautiful sight and sound

My lima bean is beautiful. Our appointment went very well today, without a hitch, praise the Lord!! I am so grateful and so relieved after my appointment today! Just to see the little bean in there, and to see that fluttering heartbeat-Thank you, Father!!! Today it sank in- there is actually a baby inside me. I saw it with my own two eyes today. We also were able to hear the bean's heartbeat, which was incredible. I don't have words, I just don't have words to describe how I feel right now. We love our bean so much already. Both DH and I got teary (I was a little more weepy than him :)). I am just so grateful and so happy today. We had a good visit with the Fetal Medicine doctor, who was great. He spent so much time talking to us about why my doc would be a bit concerned due to my heart condition, and was also very positive. Thankfully, I haven't historically been very symptomatic of my heart condition throughout my life, which the doctor is taking as a good sign. Also, my pregnancy has been going well so far in terms of my level of energy and not being out of breath too much. So, here's to more hope and many, many, many more prayers as we continue on this journey to parenthood! My next appointment is with my normal doc on Jan. 19. It's just a routine appointment (actually my first with her since I found out I was pregnant.) I believe there will be all sorts of peeing in a cup, maybe a blood test, etc. Thanks for all of the prayers. Please know how much we appreciate them, and how much they are still needed.
Thank you, Father!!!

Scared

On Wednesday, DH and I will go to the Fetal Medicine doc for our very first ultrasound. I am terrified. This whole experience has felt like a dream, surreal and thrilling on one hand, but frightening on the other because I'm afraid that one of these days I'm going to "wake up" to realize it hasn't been real. After spending time with some loved ones, it has become very clear to me just how trying it is to be a parent, and how exhausting. This last week, it has hit me that having a baby changes EVERYTHING, and that things between DH and I will never be the same again. I'm ashamed to admit it, but that has inspired some pangs of fear in me. I'm NOT at all sad that we're having a baby by any means. It's just that the unknown is scary. I wonder how well we'll communicate, how we'll handle the inevitable discipline situations, and handle the extra work and responsibility around the house and with the baby. But, let me state that I am really happy with the fact that things will never be the same. I've seen DH interact with some of our younger family members lately and I've just about busted at the seams because it is just so darn CUTE! I can only imagine and can't wait to see him interact with our child, hold our child. God willing, of course. Two of my very good friends are also pregnant, one due in June and the other due in July; I'm due in August. I don't know what I'll do or how I'll feel if something goes wrong with this pregnancy, and there are my two good friends, with brand new babies when I should have one too. See how my mind works? My mom keeps telling me I need to have positive expectations, and to be positive. I agree with her, but I'm also scared to get my hopes up too much. I just don't know how to balance my hopes with the reality that something bad could happen with this pregnancy. For now, I'm trying not to think about it too much, but to focus on other things. I keep reminding myself that there's nothing I can do about this except pray, because worrying does nothing positive at all. I am also trying to remind myself that God has a plan for us and that I just need to have faith in His plan. Please pray for us, friends, as we prepare to see the doctor on Wednesday.
Have a very Happy New Year.