Friday, February 11, 2011

More confessions- getting to know YBR Mama...

Every once in a while, I'll ask my husband to tell me something about him that I don't already know. We've been together for 4 years, married for 3 in March, but it's always fun to see what he can come up with. Here are a few of the random things I have thought of to tell him...

1. I can be extremely nosy. For example, on trash day, I like to check out what people have in their recycling bins as I drive by. "Neighbor Allison's been through a case of Diet Coke this week. The Johnson's must've had pizza again last night. Oooooh, the Smiths have a new Plasma screen tv...jerks." However, I draw the line at actually slowing down to see said items, nor do I dumpster dive. That's beneath me. Sniff.

2. My day dream life rivals that of Ralphie from A Christmas Story. Remember how he had all those elaborate day dreams throughout the movie, defeating Ol' Black Bart with his bb gun? Yeah, I would totally whoop his arse with my day dreams. They are incredibly vivid, detailed, and unrealistic. They usually feature a size 6 me (ha!) doing something spectacular like winning American Idol, taking over Oprah's job, or finding myself on an airplane in first class, seated next to Vince Vaughn (don't laugh-funny=hot!) who can't stop himself from flirting with my hotness. "Ohhh, Vince- please! I'm a married woman! I'm just an old frumpy mommy- I can not run away with you! The Wiz and the Munchkin need me!! Silly man."

3. I believe coffee and sugar have magical powers. Evil, addicting magical powers that make it impossible for me to resist them or to function without them.

4. When I was a kid (fifth or sixth grade) I played rec soccer. I had zero endurance, so the coach stuck me in the goal. I was a pretty petite thing who didn't hit puberty until several years later. My nightmares now consist of overdeveloped, buxom girls hurtling towards me at light speed, ready to pulverize my skull with either the soccer ball, or their ginormous recently-developed-just-finished-puberty breasts.

5. When the soccer coach would deign to let me play in the field, I would often run out of breath and pretend to be tying my cleets so as to avoid throwing up from overexertion. True story. My parents actually have pictures of me doing this.

6. When I'm nervous, anxious or bored, I tend to trace things with my eyes and count the edges or corners. For example, waiting in the doctor's office at OB appointments, I would trace the door frames, base boards and service window. I think that points to my smidge of OCD.

7. When I was a kid, numbers had colors associated with them in my mind. As in, when I thought of the number 8, it was always a blue eight. Six always looked red, as did nine. One white, 2 was green, 3 was also blue. So, either I'm really odd, or I spent entirely too much time watching the number segment on Sesame Street. "One car, two cars, ah ha ha!" (My blog impersonation of SS's Count Vampire Dude)

8. In the third grade, one of the options for free time in my class was playing with a Oiija board. It gives a whole new meaning to "No Child Left Behind." Ugh-scary.

9. I will never again question whether my younger brother knows which cables go where in trying to jump start a car battery. When he followed my suggestion for how to put the cables, we set both his car and mine Sparks, smoke, flames.

10. The first person I called as my car was still flaming and smoking? My older sister. Who lived in Colorado. Just goes to show how much stock I put in her advice and opinions. However, her advice turned out to be to call the fire department, which I scoffed. Ew! A firetruck? In my apartment complex? Because of me?! Embarrassing! So I whipped out the old fire extinguisher and let 'er rip.

That's all for now. What weird, funny or silly things could you share about your life or yourself?


  1. Great list! #7 is synesthesia. You might like the young-adult book "A mango-shaped space."

  2. Thanks for the comment and the info!! I didn't know it had a name! Thanks- I'm going to google it right now!!

  3. With you on the coffee and sugar... on my second cup as I type!

    My cousin's wife came with their daugther to visit one day when I still lived up north. She left her lights on, so we both pulled out our little pink car kits from the trunk, I pulled my car next to hers and then we just stood there... we had the equipment and not a clue what to do... I had to go find a neighbor!