Sunday, November 14, 2010

Baby weight blues

Sigh. Here I am, three months post partum, and the majority of clothing I wear is still maternity clothes. I'm ashamed to admit that, but it's true. I had grand visions of breastfeeding being my ticket back to my pre-pregnancy body. (Not that my pre-pregnancy body couldn't have used some improvement, anyway.) But, that hasn't fully been the case. I will say that in the month after Patrick came, I dropped a bunch of my weight, and actually am only a few pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. But I'm just not satisfied with the way my body looks, and I am so disappointed that my regular clothes are not really fitting! I feel like I still look 3-4 months pregnant! In normal circumstances, I am a huge Weight Watchers believer and have had great success with it. In the back of my mind, however, echo all the stories I've heard of friends' milk drying up because they went on diets or tried to lose their weight too fast. That would be devastating to me! Breastfeeding is one of the best things I do for Patrick, and I'd like to continue until he's about a year old. Also, and maybe this is a cop out, but I simply don't have time to write down everything I eat, to check out points, etc. I've been trying to stick to Lean Cuisines for lunch and dinner (when DH is out of town), because those make it easy to track points. Before I got pregnant, I really started to enjoy going to the gym. It was such a great way for me to pound out the stress of my job, the stress of trying to conceive, and just normal life stress on the elliptical machine or treadmill. I'd clip on my iPod and go for it. Right now, however, Patrick's a little too young for the child care center at my gym, and I'm a little hesitant to leave him in the care of the teenagers that work there anyway. I'm not exactly coordinated, so I tire of workout videos because I feel frustrated and as if I'm not getting much out of it if I can't follow the moves closely enough. So, that leaves walking. Patrick and I have been getting out for about 30-60 minutes a couple of days a week, which has been great. I'm not sure what we'll do once the weather starts getting really cold, but cross that bridge when we get there, right? I just wish I had better self control when it came to my eating. I know part of my problem is I eat because I'm bored, and I'm also one of those girls who "eats her feelings." These feelings could be stress, loneliness, or frustration. DH has been traveling a lot, so I've been having my fair share of all of those feelings. Which, along with convenience, leads me to the drive thru, or to indulge in that pumpkin scone at Starbucks. I guess I've got to quit complaining, suck it up and just DO IT. Wish me luck!!

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