Monday, December 27, 2010

Dear Future Self,

If you are reading this, it is probably because you are in excruciating pain right now, thanks to either Jillian Michaels, Elliptical Monster, or the Total Pain, er, Gym. Everything is going to be okay. Just breathe. (If you can.) This will all be worth it, trust me, your Past Self. As I type this there are two, TWO amazing gift cards in your wallet, just begging to be spent on cute, sassy clothes. However, as I type this there is also a nice, jiggly layer of unwelcome flesh covering pretty much our entire body.

I know, gross.

And NO, we are no longer blaming this on pregnancy weight. It's been almost 5 months. This jiggle is all thanks to the junk we've been stuffing in our mouths, under the guise that breastfeeding will burn off any and everything we eat. (Which, based on how we look in our underwear, is 100% false.)

So, it's time. It's probably going to hurt. This layer of jiggly flesh is extremely comfortable where it is, and is NOT going to want to vacate our premises. The jiggle has a very effective bag of tricks to discourage us from reaching our goals. It's going to slow us down, jiggle and bounce with every stride on the Elliptical Monster, and mock us in the mirror after particularly strenuous sessions with Jillian Maniac. Regardless of how our body looks or how little the scale moves from day to day, repeat these words: IT IS WORKING. IT IS WORKING. Just remember that every time you finish a work out, we are that much closer to being ready to spend those wonderful gift cards, ready for shorts and sleeveless shirts, and one more step closer to letting go of the fear and dread we hold for beach season.

Now, suck it up, shower up, and go indulge in one of those amazing massages DH gave us for Christmas. Cause honey, tomorrow's another day made especially for fightin' the flab!!

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