I've been very focused on Tuesday, as it was supposed to mark my first ultrasound, at 6 weeks and 1 day, with the Fetal Medicine doctor. I've been praying a lot, blogging, lighting candles at church, spending time before the Blessed Sacrament, and attending Daily Mass. Today I got a call from the doctor's office, needing to reschedule the appointment because Dr. G needs to be out of the office tomorrow. So, my first ultrasound won't be until January 6, when I'll be about 8 weeks, which is a more "normal" time to have a first ultrasound. I have to say, I had mixed feelings after that call. More mixed than I would've realized. I was actually kind of disappointed that I am not going to get to see my baby tomorrow, and at the same time, a little relieved that I'll be having my first ultrasound at a later date. My fear about having an ultrasound at six weeks was that it was going to be too early to detect a heartbeat. So, now I have a few more weeks until we have our first ultrasound. A few more weeks to pray, attend Mass, spend time with Jesus and prepare for this ultrasound. I know it would be more natural to be excited, but with the label of "high risk", it's a bit of a scary step. I'm still working on focusing on God and not my worries, which sometimes is a minute to minute task.
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