The beginning

Well, actually, this is not the beginning. My DH and were married two years ago, this spring. We have never used any means of contraception, but instead used the "Fertility Awareness Model," introduced to me by my older sister. I remember the months before I got married, taking my temperature each morning, keeping meticulous charts, checking my CM on a daily basis and shaking off the scoffs of friends. One friend in particular kept warning me, "You'll be pregnant by the summer if you just stick to the charts!" If only it were that easy. My charts seemed normal enough, and my cycle is consistently regular. So, for several months, we depended on those charts to dictate my fertile times (aka- "Red light!" days) and non-fertile times (aka "Green light!" days.) then, last November, after much discussion, DH and I decided to turn the tables on my charts- former red light days were now green light days, because we were on the journey to parenthood!
Now, a year later, we are about to go to our very first appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist. Twelve months ago, when I got my first negative test, I had no idea what a gut wrenching journey this was going to turn out to be. Even now, not yet knowing what our issues and options are going to be, I can only imagine how gut wrenching this is going to continue to be. I want to be a mother more than I've wanted anything in the world. To feel our child in my womb, to grow round and full of life. So now, to deal with all of these feelings and to chronicle our journey, I've given birth to this blog.