Being what I considered to be an expert at fertility in general and my own fertility specifically, after 6 months of TTC using FAM, my anxiety about not being pregnant was steadily increasing. My poor, wonderful husband was and continues to be nothing but supportive, reassuring and sweet throughout our journey together. I am prone to anxiety anyway, and this was driving me crazy. I just couldn't understand why this was not happening for us. Yes, I know that each time there's only about a 20% chance of conceiving when timed correctly, and that it's perfectly normal that it takes couples 6 months or a year to conceive. But with everything we were doing- taking temperatures, using OPK kits, charting cervical mucus, etc., I was sure that we should've been able to get pregnant already. What didn't help my anxiety were my girlfriends. They were all seeming to get pregnant and have babies just fine, unlike me. One even got pregnant after reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility, a book she picked up off my shelf during my bachelorette party. Gee, I'm so glad I could help YOU achieve YOUR dreams of motherhood. Oh, and did I happen to mention that her husband travels 4 days a week? And that he just happened to be home one month during her fertile time? They have a two month old now. (Remember, one reason I have this blog is to work out all the crappy feelings built up. I am truly happen for my friend. It's not that I don't want to be a mother instead of her being able to be a mother, I just want to be a mother too.)
Anyway, DH and I finally decided to go and talk to my ob/gyn about our time trying to conceive. I was very hesitant to go, because it felt like asking for help was admitting there was a problem, and I didn't want there to be a problem. I just wanted to get pregnant easily, the good old fashioned way. But, we went. This man we will call Dr. X. Dr. X is a good ol' southern gentleman who never uses my first name when he comes into the examination room. He was reassuring, saying that I was only 27, let's check out DH's counts, do some bloodwork on me and see what happens. DH had gotten his counts checked the previous December (this was now July) so we gave the results to Dr. X, who said they looked to be within normal range. When my bloodwork came back, it seemed that my prolactin level was elevated, which can prevent a woman from becoming pregnant. Thus began my love/hate affair with Parlodel. At first, I only took one 2.5 mg pill a day. The resulting nausea, dizziness and constipation knit together the hate part of our relationship. On the other hand, the hope that this little pill brought me was worth each trip to the bathroom to wretch. As the months progressed, my prolactin has gone down, but is still "a little too high." I began feeling like I was moving in slow motion. There were several issues with my doctor that have since been fixed. ( I got a new doctor!) But, that's for another post....
Wordless Wednesday - Rainy Day activities
5 years ago